I’m blessed, I’m blessed, I’m blessed, I’m blessed
by Kurt Aschliman
Tonight I found myself tearing up while mixing for a show on tour. I believe it was the first time it’s happened since coming out on the road; somehow the beauty of the voices and music combined with such incredible lyrics hit me hard. Last week was probably one of the hardest weeks of my life emotionally. I don’t believe I have ever cried more in my life. Hannah’s grandfather, we called him Granddaddy Bill, passed away unexpectedly a week ago today. He was such a sweet, caring, vibrant man that we all thought had been given a new lease on life after his hip replacement surgery took away all the pain he had been dealing with for quite some time. He was up walking around quickly after the surgery and said he was pain free considering what he felt before. But somehow God’s plans were different than ours, and he took Grandaddy Bill home that night, one week ago.
I still remember so vividly the anguish and sorrow that I had never felt before last Monday morning when Hannah’s dad called us early to tell us of Granddaddy’s passing. It was the hardest thing to watch my wife go through when all I could do was hold her and cry with her. Even now I have tears streaming down my face just thinking about it.
I was fortunate to be home that morning, but I don’t believe it was an accident or just happenstance. You see I do believe in a god who orchestrates all things to his glory. I don’t often understand how, but he does. Even in the small things, like making sure I would be there in one of the most painful moments of my wife’s life this far. I was able to make the trip with Hannah to Virginia as well, and to be there through all of the tough moments of those three days after Granddaddy Bill passed away. Through it all I count it a blessing to have been able to, even if just ever so slightly, share the weight of sorrow. It’s a hard thing to say goodbye, and it is especially hard when it is the person who you thought was the most fit and healthy. We didn’t leave town after Christmas thinking this would be the last time we saw our Granddaddy Bill. It becomes even harder when you begin to reflect on a persons life and all you can think of are the amazing memories you had with that person. I only knew Granddaddy Bill for a little over a year and a half I believe, but he had become a grandfather to me in that short time. He had a huge heart for his kids and grandkids, which I saw most exemplified when he held Hannah as she crawled into his lap during our visit over Christmas. It was amazing to see, such a normal thing in life for them I am sure. I do hope that in heaven moments like that can be played out whenever we should desire. I realize that heaven is the eternal worship of God, but moments like those I believe are close to our heavenly fathers heart.
Moments like tonight, listening to such beautiful music and songs, feeling the wrench in my heart of all that I don’t deserve yet have been given, I believe are close to his heart too. Something I don’t think I will ever forget in my life are the words of Hannah’s grandmother, Mama June, saying to me after the showing, “I’m blessed, I’m blessed I’m blessed, I’m blessed.” She was so strong, and she knew that this life and all the things in it are a gift. If only I could follow that example, to know what incredible gifts I have. My new bride, my family, my job, my friends, my life.
Truly I can say, “I’m blessed, I’m blessed, I’m blessed, I’m blessed. ”